My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
