I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
