It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
