you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize