I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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