i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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