All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
