She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
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