whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
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