OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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