I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
How's work?
Spinning.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
