Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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