forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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