The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
