Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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