i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
so explain again why im purple
no
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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