I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize