Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Randomize
