ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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