So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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