What did we do last night that was yellow?
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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