do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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