if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
