You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
