Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I think your dad took our porno
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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