I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
