So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
