I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
