I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize