I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Randomize
