can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
