I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
