Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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