she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
We named our party play list daddy issues
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
