how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
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