He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
just found out that she named her cat after me.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
It's shark week go big or go home
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Randomize
