she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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