So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Success! We fucked roommates!
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
