is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Randomize
