Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.

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(702): View more from Nevada

omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.

Fav 42 2174 6409
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(704): View more from North Carolina

giving yourself 2 days to recover i see

(828): View more from North Carolina

I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.

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(520): View more from Arizona

I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.

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(703): View more from Virginia

the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"

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(203): View more from Connecticut

There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.

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(517): View more from Michigan

Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?

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(619): View more from California

I just realized u compared me to a coconut

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