so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Randomize
