The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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