Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Swine flu. Run for my life!
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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