I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Randomize