you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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