at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
