U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
