please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Randomize
