people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
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