that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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