My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
