shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize