I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
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