I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
