I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
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