is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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