how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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