Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
