dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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