seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize