Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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