Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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